My+Writing+Process-Van+Hoose

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Dear Reader, Writing became a passion for me in the summer of 2002 when I started writing a novel just because I had nothing else to do. It was the summer before high school. I remember it fondly now as the beginning of my favorite hobby. I also fondly remember my high school teachers, all of whom made me a more confident writer and inspired me to keep writing. One of these teachers in particular introduced me to portfolios and my writing mantra: Never marry a draft because if you do, you lose sight of all the potential it has. Since that class, revision has been my favorite aspect of writing. I devote most of my time to it, particularly for creative writing or non-school projects.

The problem though is that these pieces don’t show that as well. I like to put stories away for a while and forget about them. Then, I can come back with a less biased standpoint and see for myself what needs to be changed. Most of these works in this portfolio have undergone the first revision at least, but I need to put them away for a while longer to get the next revision completed. The ones that are more personal need the most time filed away where I can forget about them simply because they are personal and therefore I’m naturally biased towards them. Of course, //Part of the Family//, perhaps one of the most personal pieces to me, underwent the most revisions out of any piece in this portfolio. That would appear to contradict my statement, but I understand why it has the most drafts. It was October when I wrote //Part of the Family//. October is when I think most often of my neighbor Gale. I remember her and it seems as though all those memories of her happen in October; part of me thinks it was also the month she was born or died in, but my memory is too fuzzy to recall. I had never written down her story, but once I decided I wanted to I realized I had to get it right. Whatever I wrote down would be what I would remember when I was old and lacked a good memory because it would be written down for me to reread. I had to get it perfect.

Perfection is something I strive for all the time. Perhaps it’s a flaw, or maybe it’s a strength. The point is, I felt I owed it to Gale to get it just right. It was a tribute to her, and in reality, the reason I chose to write about her. Before, I was going to write about my two best friends. That story just didn’t seem interesting enough to me. When I looked back at the map, I saw Gale’s house and suddenly the memories clicked. I knew I had to write a tribute to her, and I knew it had to be perfect to honor the kind of person she was.

The first draft had too many memories and they weren’t very linear. My attempt to get it all on paper in four pages was a bad idea. My conclusion fit best in my introduction. This often happens to me because I do write the introduction first, but often I’m only vaguely aware of the topic I’m writing about. By the time I get to the conclusion, I know what I’m writing about, so it tends to be stronger. I moved it to the introduction, erased the old introduction completely, and tacked on the last, powerful line that connected it to the beginning.

But that wasn’t enough. The middle was still too disorganized. I cut out the memory of my dog because Gale played a minor role in it; the memories of her in other places were much stronger. I had my best friend read over it repeatedly as I revised to see which one was best to her as a reader who didn’t know Gale. With her help, I trimmed other passages. I realized the unconscious references to autumn. That was my connection from paragraph to paragraph. I cut anything that didn’t have to do with autumn and strengthened the image. Then, I decided to expand on her death. I added dialogue about her disease. I also added more thoughts and actions to my reaction when my mother told me. Her death was the climax of the story, and now it read like one instead of a mere “oh she died, it was sad” sort of telling experience.

One thing you’ll notice that is missing is a description of Gale. I did this for two reasons. First, I didn’t see it as being important. It is not who she looked like that mattered to me, but how she acted as a person. Second, I honestly don’t remember. That’s not what stood out in my memories of her. I believe I may have a photograph of her at home somewhere, but if not, I’m afraid the memory of her appearance is something lost completely. I’m still not satisfied with it though. I’m much happier than I was when I had draft one, but I believe it needs a draft seven. I will be filing it away until spring, when thoughts of autumn and thoughts of Gale are not strong enough to blur my vision. I’ll know then how best to rewrite it and will hopefully be able to pinpoint what it is that still bothers me about the piece.

I think //Painfully Pointless Paper// is the piece I’m least satisfied with. I thought writing about an experience I had that was negative would be more interesting to write about, but I think I was wrong. There are points in it where I believe a sarcastic voice appears, but it seems inconsistent to me. I think I struggle to find my voice in my pieces because I’m not entirely certain how one defines it. I mean, I understand sort of, but I just don’t know what //my// voice is. I think I try to imitate other voices out of uncertainty instead. Or maybe I’m just so used to my own voice that I can’t see it in my work. I wish school talked more about voice in English writing lessons. I know I read over my peer’s English paper and she used “I” and wrote in a completely different way. It was so strange to me. I’m so used to be told that’s wrong. Of course, with the Agony versus Ecstasy piece, it was supposed to be about me, so using “I” is acceptable.

One of the problems with //Painfully Pointless Paper// too is that I don’t know //how// I finished the assignment. I just know I started writing it last minute because I had to and I ran with whatever came to mind. I’m not sure if the information was made up – I feel like it wasn’t. I simply can’t remember; I just recall how terrible it was and how angry I was that I ended up with no commentary and a less than perfect score. Figuring out how to write the beginning was also difficult because I didn’t want to give away how it was scored until the end. I definitely need to revise that one again after letting it rest a while longer on a backburner in my head.

The piece that was the most fun to write was the Unfamiliar Genre Project. I had so many ideas as to where to take it that I just started writing and waited to see where the characters took me. Characters coming to life is by far the most rewarding experience I can think of as a writer. I’m also surprised it came as easily as it did. I figured the unfamiliar genre would be more difficult. I think my classes in Native American cultures helped shape the story. I took my knowledge of Trickster stories, since they are examples of folktales, and imagined that my story would be included in the readings of the Native American class. I think the result was that it came out sounding like a natural folktale, or at least, that’s what I’m hoping.

The last piece included is a wiki post about my writing. Most of it is probably summarized in this letter as well. I felt like including it because it helps demonstrate my own thoughts on writing and how I write best. It’s short, but that in itself is a challenge for me. I like details. I’m not very good at writing concisely.

At the end of the day, I still say revision is my strongest attribute as a writer. I’m never afraid to revise and I always do it, although sometimes it takes a while to be mentally prepared for it due to personal bias. Revising a paper that I still remember well in my head tricks my brain into seeing what it wants to see rather than what is actually there. In that regard, it would be interesting to see what difference my portfolio will have in April. I suppose in some ways this is also my weakness then since I can’t always revise right away. Some pieces are always easier than others to revise though, so there are always exceptions. I think I was challenged in trying to find my voice. Most of these pieces were more personal, so voice was more natural. I’m not entirely convinced I found it, so that will be something I continue to work on. It was also a challenge just to write a personal story. Too often the writing in school is expository, so I feel as though I have to remove myself from it. Writing in first person is not something I enjoy as much. Writing in third person is just more natural to me now. I think it would be interesting to rewrite all these stories in third person to see how they differ. I think that will be something I attempt when I look back on these later. I hope you can look past the flaws in each of these pieces. I know that they exist; I just don’t know how to fix them just yet. In some ways, these flaws reflect me as a writer and as a person since each piece is personal. Perhaps the flaws aren’t as bad as I think they are. It’s hard to tell when you’re a perfectionist and want everything to be perfect. However, there really is no such thing. There’s just something better. These are the best drafts that I have to date, but that doesn’t mean that they will always be the best drafts. I haven’t married these drafts yet; I intend to return to them and see what I can improve. In that aspect, I would argue that there is no such thing as a final draft. There’s just the last draft we wrote, a temporary stopping point if you will where our minds recharge before starting the next one. Enjoy. Sincerely,

Tina Van Hoose

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